The Story
While doing time in a minimum security women's prison, an entitled con artist and a street-wise madam are transferred as part of a program to address stressful overcrowding, “Violence Abatement Jail Strategies," or, VAJS for short.
The two convicts think they're being moved from one country club prison to another, but they're wrong. Very, very wrong. Their new home isn't "Camp Cupcake." It's a dilapidated convent serenely devoid of wifi, cable TV, activities, and most foods. To make matters worse, the convent serves as a dumping ground for every outcast or weirdo nun this side of Rome.
The convent's acting Mother Superior has no patience for the pair of criminals threatening her orderly order. If the convent didn't desperately need the money allocated by the state to house the two, she’d have them on their way to the nearest chain gang. But one cannot run a convent with spit and a prayer.
Can two criminals survive in this cloistered world of good works, bad plumbing, and ugly nun shoes? Will this band of rag-tag nuns change the convicts' sinful ways, or be changed by them?
The two convicts think they're being moved from one country club prison to another, but they're wrong. Very, very wrong. Their new home isn't "Camp Cupcake." It's a dilapidated convent serenely devoid of wifi, cable TV, activities, and most foods. To make matters worse, the convent serves as a dumping ground for every outcast or weirdo nun this side of Rome.
The convent's acting Mother Superior has no patience for the pair of criminals threatening her orderly order. If the convent didn't desperately need the money allocated by the state to house the two, she’d have them on their way to the nearest chain gang. But one cannot run a convent with spit and a prayer.
Can two criminals survive in this cloistered world of good works, bad plumbing, and ugly nun shoes? Will this band of rag-tag nuns change the convicts' sinful ways, or be changed by them?
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ELLIE WALSH: THE CON ARTIST
A Harvard-educated MBA with no moral compass whatsoever, Ellie is the former CEO of From the Bottom Up, the exclusive provider of anti-aging suppositories to the Gwyneth Paltrow set. Threatened with financial disaster after allegations her product was causing anal cancer and other general quackery, Ellie's empire went from perfect scam to full-blown Ponzi scheme. Convicted of fraud. Sentence: 14 years. |
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KIMBERLY CRISTI: THE MADAM
Kim is a bisexual ex-dominatrix who attributes the success of her Washington DC-based prostitution ring to her deep understanding of human weakness coupled with a street-smart knack for exploiting it. When a closeted congressman found himself facing solicitation charges, he threw Kim under the bus to avoid prosecution. This is her second conviction for pandering. Sentence: 17 years. |
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SISTER MARY “GERT” GERTRUDE OF THE RIGHTEOUS BLOOD OF THE PIOUS
A by-the-book authoritarian, Sister Gert runs the convent like the former U.S. Marine she is. Despite her pious, persnickety ways, Sister Gert isn't above ambition and never passes up an opportunity to further her goal: being promoted to Mother Superior. Sister Gert will never let two convicted criminals upset her carefully ordered world. Oh, hell no. |
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SISTER MARY COLLETTE OF THE AGONIZING BLEEDING HEART OF JESUS
Loyal, exuberant, and cloistered since birth, Sister Collette has the enthusiasm of 10 nuns and zero experience in the real world. As Sister Gert's aide-de-camp, she follows her boss anywhere, even when it means ending up at the worst convent in the country. Sister Collette's tiny world is split wide open by the convicts' stories and experiences. Equal parts fascinated and appalled, she'll attempt to redeem Ellie and Kim with good works, forgiveness, and hugs. |
Bad Habits is a recipient of Big Vision Empty Wallet’s Kickstart Diversity Program. The program encourages diversity in storytelling at the independent level by supporting projects written, directed, and/or produced by Women, People of Color and Members of the LGBTQ Community.